Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 27 7.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

The phrase, ``You are what you eat`` cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Chuck Norris eats.