Chuck Norris` dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris` PC will crash.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn`t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he`s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris doesn`t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the
Chuck Norris puts the ``laughter`` in ``manslaughter``.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
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