Gravity only affects Vin Diesel for six hours out of every day.

Every time Vin Diesel kills god, a kitten masturbates.

In Soviet Russia, Vin Diesel is you.

Vin Diesel can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Vin Diesel has the secret to Cold Fusion but refuses to share until Saved By The Bell is put back on television.

The greatest trick Vin Diesel ever pulled was making the world think he doesn`t exist.

Everytime Vin Diesel masturbates God kills a Siberian Tiger.

Vin Diesel owns a logging company. His only other employee being a blue ox.

Vin Diesel lives his life in ``bullet-time``.

Vin Diesel sheds his skin every 40 or so days as a defense mechanism.