Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
Chuck Norris doesn`t play ``hide-and-seek.`` He plays ``hide-and-pray-I-don`t-find-you.``
ADD is not a disease. It`s just impossible to focus when you know that Chuck Norris could strike at any moment.
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, ``Please don`t kill me.`` Too bad Chuck Norris doesn`t believe in magic.
The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
When Superman squeezes a lump of coal, he creates a diamond. When Chuck Norris squeezes a lump of coal, he creates an African child to work in his diamond mines.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren`t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck`s nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; eit
It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not ``attempt`` murder. 74 6.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
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