The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Chuck Norris once finished ``The Song that Never Ends``.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

When God said, ``Let there be light``, Chuck Norris said, ``say please.``

The quickest way to a man`s heart is with Chuck Norris`s fist.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can`t find bigger, better nuts than that.

Chuck Norris doesn`t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.