Chuck Norris doesn`t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can`t get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris puts the ``laughter`` in ``manslaughter``.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris` tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris` sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris` calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd no one fools Chuck Norris.