Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice announced that it would be possible to fight two wars at once. Incidentally, Vin Diesel announced that he could fight two whores at once.

Vin Diesel`s real name is Mortimer Quincy Meriwether, Jr.

Vin Diesel lives in a castle that he built by hand using bricks made of the compressed souls of the damned.

Vin Diesel eats his weight in alfalfa every day.

Vin Diesel holds the rank of Major in the Confederated Space Armada.

Guns don`t kill people, Chuck Norris does.

When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn`t heal.

We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chuck Norris says.

Vin Diesel can be re-arranged to say, ``I end lives``. Screw that; Chuck Norris can be re-arranged to say ``Chuck Norris``, Which means the same thing.