When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn`t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further. 69 7.

The only reason Chuck Norris didn`t win an Oscar for his performance in ``Sidekicks`` is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That`s just suicide.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn`t dodge Chuck Norris` roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can`t lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris doesn`t use pickup lines, he simply says, ``Now.``

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn`t kill you in your sleep.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.