The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn`t real, it`s when he learns Chuck Norris is.

If you play Led Zeppelin`s ``Stairway to Heaven`` backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn`t kill you in your sleep.

16. Exista o lume mai buna........ dar este foarte scumpa.

> > >-- lege locala in orasul Glendale, Arizona:
> > >
> > >-Mersul inapoi este interzis pentru orice autovehicul
> > >
> > >-- lege in statul Arkansas:
> > >
> > >-Barbatilor li se permite sa-si bata nevestele, dar nu mai mult decat o data pe luna

A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can`t find bigger, better nuts than that.

9.Sportul preferat al femeilor în raport cu vârsta lor:
17 ani - Shopping
25 ani - Shopping
35 ani - Shopping
48 ani - Shopping
66 ani - Shopping

Vin Diesel lives his life in ``bullet-time``.

The phrase, ``You are what you eat`` cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Chuck Norris eats.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

> > >-- lege locala in orasul Chico, California:
> > >
> > >-Detonarea unui dispozitiv nuclear in oras atrage dupa sine plata
> > >
> > >unei amenzi de 500 dolari

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not ``attempt`` murder. 74 6.

17. A studia inseamna a te indoi de inteligenta colegului de birou.

16.Vârsta si întâlnirile cu prietenul:
17 ani - El se ofera sa plateasca
25 ani - El plateste
35 ani - El pregateste mâine micul dejun
48 ani - El pregateste mâine micul dejun pentru copii
66 ani - El poate sa-si mestece nicul dejun

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims ``6 Feet of Fun`` is actually the trademark for his penis.