Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by ``knit``, I mean ``kick``, and by ``sweaters``, I mean ``babies``.

> > >-- lege locala in orasul Chico, California:
> > >
> > >-Detonarea unui dispozitiv nuclear in oras atrage dupa sine plata
> > >
> > >unei amenzi de 500 dolari

Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

If you play Led Zeppelin`s ``Stairway to Heaven`` backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

> > >-- lege locala in orasul Glendale, Arizona:
> > >
> > >-Mersul inapoi este interzis pentru orice autovehicul
> > >
> > >-- lege in statul Arkansas:
> > >
> > >-Barbatilor li se permite sa-si bata nevestele, dar nu mai mult decat o data pe luna

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn`t real, it`s when he learns Chuck Norris is.

The phrase, ``You are what you eat`` cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Chuck Norris eats.

17. A studia inseamna a te indoi de inteligenta colegului de birou.

A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can`t find bigger, better nuts than that.

16.Vârsta si întâlnirile cu prietenul:
17 ani - El se ofera sa plateasca
25 ani - El plateste
35 ani - El pregateste mâine micul dejun
48 ani - El pregateste mâine micul dejun pentru copii
66 ani - El poate sa-si mestece nicul dejun

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

I think of you as a brother.
You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance."

13. Banii nu fac fericirea....o cumpara gata facuta.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn`t kill you in your sleep.

9.Sportul preferat al femeilor în raport cu vârsta lor:
17 ani - Shopping
25 ani - Shopping
35 ani - Shopping
48 ani - Shopping
66 ani - Shopping