Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can`t get up the courage to tell him.

I'm celibate.
I've sworn off only the men like you.

Let's be friends.
I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.

Guns don`t kill people, Chuck Norris does.

I don't date men where I work.
I wouldn't date you if you were in the same "solar system", much less the same building.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chuck Norris says.

1.Vârsta femeilor în raport cu continentele lumii:
20 - 30 fierbinti ca Africa
30 - 40 salbatice ca Asia
40 - 50 technic asa de avansate ca America
50 - 60 secatuite de resurse ca Europa
60 - 70 lipsite de contact ca Australia
70 - 80 reci ca Antarctica

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris` leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

I'm not attracted to you in "that" way.
You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.

It's not you, it's me.
It's you.

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, ``Please don`t kill me.`` Too bad Chuck Norris doesn`t believe in magic.

There's a slight difference in our ages.
You're ugly.

Let's be friends.
You're sinfully ugly.

I think of you as a sister.
You're ugly.