Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, ``Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery.``

The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further. 69 7.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice announced that it would be possible to fight two wars at once. Incidentally, Vin Diesel announced that he could fight two whores at once.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

In Soviet Russia, Vin Diesel is you.

Chuck Norris doesn`t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

3. A avea constiinta curata inseamna a avea memorie proasta.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, c

5. Cei cinstiti sunt inadaptatii societatii.

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Chuck Norris doesn`t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

21. Exista doua cuvinte care iti deschid multe usi......trage si
impinge.