Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, ``Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery.``

Chuck Norris once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression ``Shitting bricks`` wasn`t just a figure of speech.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further. 69 7.

11. Eu nu sufar de nebunie ... ma bucur de ea in fiecare minut.

6. Pestele care lupta impotriva

3. A avea constiinta curata inseamna a avea memorie proasta.

Chuck Norris doesn`t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Chuck Norris doesn`t use pickup lines, he simply says, ``Now.``

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, c

Chuck Norris doesn`t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.